As I sit writing my third essay for my English class one song is replayed on repeat on my iPod. Evil Angel by Breaking Benjamin. I don’t really listen to this song unless I feel lost or confused about my life.
“Hold it together birds of a feather, nothing but lies and crooked wings. I have the answer spreading the cancer you are the faith inside me. No, don’t, leave me to die here, help me survive here. Alone”
I like the way this song makes me feel. I can’t really explain the feeling… I feel like the singer feels the way I feel. He understands the confusion and stress that I’ve been going through. The hurt and anger I feel toward the world. He wants someone to take all of it away, the pain the anger. He wants/needs The “Evil Angel” to leave….
“Put me to sleep evil angel, open your wings evil angel. I’m a believer nothing could be worse, all these imaginary friends. Hiding betrayal, driving the nail, hoping to find a savior. No, don’t, leave me to die here, help me survive here. Alone, don’t remember. Remember.”
To me this song is about a guy who is suffering. And it hurts so bad that he begging for a way out of misery. His evil angel can be many things from; drugs to death to life depending on how you see it. He could be feeling so much pain that getting rid of it through the “evil angel” is by taking drugs and numbing it. But that’s not how the song is connected to me. Or it could be death. Where he’s done suffering he doesn’t want to deal with it anymore so the “evil angel” is Death. For me "Evil Angel" is life. Where he is going through such a hard time he feels the Evil angel is holding him back. He wants out he wants to live again, or in my case finally get the chance to live. He’s done and that’s how I feel.
“All these imaginary friends…” is all the fake people in my life. “Hiding betrayal..” they’ve stabbed me in the back and lied to my face. “Hoping to find a savior…” I’ve found my savior. He looks out for me the best he can when he doesn’t have too much on his plate. He does his best to make me feel better. He helps me survive when I feel alone, when I feel I have no one. I don’t want to remember all the things that the “imaginary friends” have done to me and he tries to help me forget that. I love him for being there for me, for trying his best to help me and still loving me in return after all the chaos my "problem" has put on us but sometimes it’s too much to ask from him and I can’t be dependent on him all the time.
“Put Me to sleep evil angel, Open your wings evil angel. Fly over me evil angel. Why can I breathe evil angel?”
I am going through harsh personal problems and all I want “ my little problem” to do is end. Evil Angel for me is people. People that bring me down, people that are being unloving toward me. People who’ve betrayed me. “Open your wings” for me means let me go of me. I don’t want you to do this to me anymore. “Fly Over me…” is leave. Go away from me. I don’t need you anymore because all you do it cause me pain. “Why can’t I breathe…?” is your suffocating me because of what you’re doing. You’re killing me with what you’ve done and I can’t take it anymore. That’s what Evil Angel is for me
I listen to this song repeatedly because it feels like a part of me. I feel like it was made for me. Everyone has a special song that touches a spot in their heart. Songs are amazing parts of everyone’s life because they make you feel emotions you thought you never had. This is why music is so important to me. You can always tell what kind of mood I’m in by the music I’m listening to…
